A Talk –> We had a meaningful conversation. And I’m in no way a conversationalist. But I am a realist. I AM BORING!!! I know it, my family knows it, and he should know it. I told him repeatedly. I want him to be happy… I think he deserves it. If he’s happy, then I’m happy. He’s told me not to worry about it, to let him know/do what’s good for him. But I think he deserves better than me. Better than some nerd, hack, walking-talking foo foo head with a penchant for the insane. OMG… Nostalgia.
A Walk –> Saturday I slept in. That felt nice ________ really nice. (Insert Smiley Face) I slept on him most of the time, held him some of the time, and spooned a couple of times. We slept to about 3 PM. YEAH ME! I’m proud of me. I have trouble sleeping and it was nice to relax. We went to the Blacklick Park late afternoon with Neffie, her kids, Tianee and Vincent, and Everett and his daughter, Zachiara. He is not the outdoors type. LMAO – we walked a nature trail and he almost jogged all the way through the course. He was being eaten alive by bugs. But he had very nice footwork.
A Problem –> Everett took his daughter home around 10:30 PM, after we all had dinner. He rode with them. I took a shower and put on my favorite PJs… they’re colorful. When he came back he was biting his nails (bad sign). Everett’s baby mama hit him on his head. It was busted open. She shouldn’t have done that. Everett’s my brother and I hate her now. She doesn’t deserve acknowledgement. Doesn’t deserve an existence in a world better off without her. While they beat the holly hell out of Everett, they held him. He had blood on his white shirt. I couldn’t cry, didn’t even have my phone to call people, didn’t have my car to go see people. Retribution should’ve been swift. She was lucky, but fortunate for Everett, luck always runs out.
I was soooooo sleepy that night (another bad sign). I dream cold. I see him in my dreams. But when I try to talk to him he wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t even look at me. I yell at him, I hit his chest. Nothing. I awaken cold. It was too real and I knew that it’ll happen soon. I deserve it.
SUCKS!!!
